February 11, 2005
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When the time comes that I must leave you --
You, whom I love so much --
To go along my independent way
Without you,
Do not be consumed with sadness.
Speak of me with tears, please do,
But laugh also and talk of me
as if I were beside you.
(I would be there
If I could find the way.)
And when you hear a song I loved
Or watch a bird's swift flight --
Please let the thought of me
Comfort you.
For I will be loving you
Just as I always have.
(You were so good to me!)
There are many things I wanted us to do
And many things that I forgot to say to you.
Remember that I was not afraid --
It was leaving you that was so difficult.
We cannot see ahead -- what's there --
But this I know:
I loved you so!
I love you so!
Author Unknown
Robert McMillin
3-21-1956 2-11-2003
Beloved Husband,
Wonderful Father,
Faithful Son,
Friend to many
We Love you always
watch over us
and stay close
Got a card in the mail today from my old mother-in-law, who could never find a nice thing to say about me while he was alive, cried more at our wedding than she did at his funeral. Critisized everything I did, from what I wore to what I did for Bob or the kids. Example - two posts back, there is a photo of Bob, Kristy and I when I'm pregnant with Bobby. I am wearing a fucshia colored dress with navy blue what-nots on it. She told Bob that night that I looked like a streetwalker. Honestly.
Here's the note I recieved from her yesterday - I think I might frame it!
Shellie
I want to take this time to thank you for being such a good wife to Bob
Even Sonny doesn't call me "Precious One", like Bob did you.
Also, you have been a good mother to my grandchildren.
I really appreciate that.
Glad you and Sonny talk so much on the phone,
as I know it helps him.
I wish we could just skip February
Thinking of you
Joanie
I waited 23 years to hear that.............and now it breaks my heart. Now I know for sure she has Alzheimers! Sonny is the nickname she calls my father-in-law. He's not quite as obnoxious, but more condesending.
Waves of grief, whats going on around this anniversary - my daughter broke up with her perfectly nice boyfriend. He is devastated, but we'll see how she feels next week.
My son started throwing up a little after midnight, and has been in the bathroom 3 times while I've been writing this. My stomach churns like a washing machine, but no throwing up yet.
Bluesoid reminded me several times last night and this morning that he is here for me.
So sweet, he squeezes my hand as my nerves make me twitch.
I had to have him call and let a good friend know last night that I couldn't come to her party.
I ran over a concrete divider in my baby and broke it loose from the pavement and drug it about 6 foot.
Now, that was noisy.
I put the truck in drive instead of reverse and nearly ran over Rick last night.
OK, I'll shut up now.
Except to say "Thank you all, for being so kind to me".
Comments (33)
I thought of you this morning, as I was driving in to work. I wish I could make this day easier for you, but I can't. Just know that we all are thinking of you, and are trying to help you as much as we can. (((Hugs)))
I was praying for you and thinking of some of the lessons your posts have taught me about apreciating my own husband and family. Thank you deeply. I wish I could make this day easier. I know I can't. I can't believe what a strong woman you are. please know my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
Jackie
That was a sweet note you received from the old MIL. I am sorry it took so long, but whatever the circumstances she finally sees what Bob saw.
I am also glad you posted those pics, because even through your grief I know you had to have giggled just a little at the sight of him with that sprinkler in his shorts. What teriffic memories you have to cherish sis.
Love you
WOW, what an unbelievable note from your MIL. That must have taken alot for her to write it. You and your children will make it through this day. You are lucky you all have each other. :grouphug:
GOD BLESS YOU............ and may he be with you today and always.
hugs love and prayers for you and yours.
Debi
There's nothing I can say that will take the pain away although I wish there was.
Just know I'm thinking of you, ok?
((((hugs))))
Thinking of you today as you remember and mourn for the time you had with your husband.
You and your family are in my thoughts today. All I can offer is a cyberspace hug. May you all find comfort in his love and wonderful memories.
I'm in awe in that letter you MIL sent you. Mine would never say anything like that....ever. I hope she was sincere and that it continues. I'm sorry your daughter broke up with her boyfriend. She may be going through stress because of the sad anniversary. Your son definitely is. Hugs to all of you!
What a wonderful tribute. I am glad you got the card from his mom, even if it was late. I love the pictures. Hang in there, even in my puking state, I am thinking of you. Hope you don't have it too.
Wow... that was moving!!! I am speachless!
I am going over to see my Dad tonight. I am going to give him an extra hug just because!! Thank you!!!
:waaahh: I've been thinking about you constantly...
Deep peace of the running wave to you,
Jill
Of water flowing, rising and falling,
Sometimes advancing, sometimes receding.
May the stream of your life flow unimpeded!
Deep peace of the running wave to you!
Deep peace of the flowing air to you,
Which fans your face on a sultry day,
The air which you breathe deeply, rhythmically,
Which imparts to you energy, consciousness, life.
Deep peace of the flowing air to you!
Deep peace of the quiet earth to you,
Who, herself unmoving, harbors the movements
And facilitates the life of the ten thousand creatures.
While resting contented, stable, tranquil.
Deep peace of the quiet earth to you!
~ Gaelic Prayer
You are in my heart this day and every day.
(((((Shellie))))) You're in my prayers.
ryc: That's it! You're exactly right. You, my dear, have a future in dream interpretation if you want it. Let me know and I'll help you spread the word. You know I've got a big mouth and Dalai will even allow me to dress him up in silly costumes and pose for pictures. I bet I can get him to wear sandwich boards if I bribe him with real sandwiches. :bigbounce:
:eek: ryc: Definitley Insane at times ! :hammer:
Lots of love and prayers for you to remember the good times.....
((((((HUGE HUGS)))))))
Shellie,
thanks so much for taking the time out of a difficult day to welcome my friend kathy,,, that has to be the most heartfelt of all,, today has just been a whirlwind of emotions for me,,, kathys daughter is kelcey,, we call her our little irish rose,,, and we adore her,,,, in all times good and bad.. Im sure that u will welcome her with open arms,, thanks so much, well i still have so many things to do before my move,, rudys plane comes in a three,,,i have to run,,,,,but thanks so much,, hugs and my thoughts are with you
Clorox, Ajax, Comet...I have NO idea what I can cannnot say on this site anyore.
You have such a deep soul, Shellie, you continue to amaze me. And what a letter to get from your MIL. That's a real blessing. (((Big Hug))))
S2
I've only just started reading your blog but I already love it. I started about the time of your then upcoming visit to meet the then upcoming new relatives and have read backwards and forward to put together the bit about what this day is to you. You must be a wonderful person to have found such happiness twice. Happiness mixed with sadness right now, I know, but truly. You must be a very loving person to be so loved.
Isn't it wonderful how God has provided you with a wonderful man to support you through this? I know that nothing can make the pain go away, but it is nice to have someone there to hold you when you cry. I'm praying for you.
Ok, Shellie I made some smart assed comment last night(after happy hour) which was really a non-sequiter so I took the TIME to read your post today and it was very romantic and nostalgic but I really CANNOT let the truck thing go without a comment, but...because I'm trying to get back into your good graces...I will.
Been thinking of you, it is always so painful, just let the pain out, don't hold back. It's cathartic talking about your memories.
Your "sweet MIL". She reminds me of my step mum, who was an abolute .......I can't get myself to write the word.. anything I did, or anything I said, or anything I wore she always put a nasty , bitchy, jealous comment. Now she's in a home for the senile, she grasps my hand and kisses it and says I'm lovely. I actually feel guilty, believe it or not, she was the woman who denied me ever seeing my mother.
Thanks for your comments on my site about the vacuuming! I love to come to your site, but I usually cry. You are such an inspiration even in your pain. What a blessing to get to love 2 men who are each gifts. Hugs to you and your kids!!!! :grouphug: emlee
Ok, I was lurking on someone else's site and I saw your disparaging comment about me. Well, I didn't take it to heart. I actually thought it was funny and I meant to make some smart assed comment here but I'm...well I'm just so flattered that you would take the time to call me a dork on someone else's site. I think we are good again, I'm glad. Please tell me how long it will be until I can make comments about your boobers.
:lip_kiss: Your a rock honey. God must love you real good!~K.K.
No. Thank you! I hope you are doing ok and you are so added.
You are an amazing person, the things you say touch my heart in a way I can't even explain. You have so many wonderful stories and memories, and so many more to come.....you are truly blessed .....Love and Light ~Astral :innocent:
That was an awesome tribute...not quite sure what to say but you were and are still very blessed to have someone waltz into your life like that. I can't imagine what you feel like...no need in lying and saying I do.
God Bless You
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