June 20, 2005


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    Father’s Day is a stinky day for these two.  I sat Bob’s Urn out on the kitchen table with a candle and a photo.  They bring him cards, and shuffle around.  Sunday morning I walked into my sons room and said “Your dad told me to give you this” and gave him a big hug.  He was thankful.  Last week he got into Bob’s old car and cleaned out the cobwebs and mold and junk and started driving it around.  “Why are you driving that old Camry?” I asked him.  “Just feel like it”, he answered.  “I think I’ll drive it to basketball in the mornings….if that’s OK”.  I think about old times, when he and his dad went to basketball 4 times a week in that car……”Of course, it’s OK”.


    My daughter came up to me while I was cleaning up dinner dishes and handed me a dog-eared book I’ve read a hundred times, “Can I borrow this?” she asks.  “Of course, I almost have it memorized”.  She goes and puts it in her car. The book is “How to go on living when someone you love has died”.  I’m hoping this means she’s finally to the point of facing his death.  Maybe she can stop pretending he’s away on a trip.  I’m crossing my fingers for her.


    Well, on to my Monday!  Hope all is well for all of you!

Comments (38)

  • Ah girl…how touching your entry was.  SO sad for your children to lose their father at such a young age.  Sounds like your daughter is ready to begin healing.   :innocent:

    Happy Birthday to your Baby Bro!  I hope he continues on the right path!   :clap:

  • Yummmmmmy!!  Chocolate cake!!  Happy Birthday to your brother!  I hope he stays on the right track.

    Your children seem wonderful!  It has to be so hard for them.  I’m glad they are adjusting, yet keeping their dad’s memory alive.

    Have a great day!!!!

  • I was thinking of your kids yesterday and wondering if they had a rough day. Sounds like maybe they are on the road to healing. How tough for all of you. Hope this week is good for you.

  • Hey your brother is the same age as me  :biggrin:

    (((hugs)))

  • Happy birthday to your brother!  I hope it is a good one.

  • Losing a parent is very hard, but at least they still have you to be around, and not think the little things they do to remember are stupid. Good for your brother. Sometimes the opportunities lost are not as important as the ones ahead!

  • props. i lyke ya sight  :moon:

  • I love you soooo much!  ((((hugs))))  

  • Awwww…that was a very touching entry. Made me tear up and makes me want to give you all a ‘big-ol-bearhug’. It sounds like your kids are dealing with it in their own ways and on their own time. And it, indeed, sounds like your daughter is starting to accept it. I will keep you all in my thoughts.
    And HOORAY for your brother, who is quiet a cutie, if I may say so…LOL!!   Glad he is starteing to realize all the things in life he has available to him…so much living to do! I don’t know the whole story, but maybe your situation is helping him out in some way…know what I mean?

    Anyway…have a great day and catch you later!

  • Shellie, I hope you are planning on writing a book someday. I read your entries to Frank whenever you write about Bob, because I am always touched so deeply by what and how you write.  You have a very real talent for putting your toughts on paper.  I hope you are doing somewith with it.  What a tribute to Bob to write it all down to share with others.

    I sincerely hope your lovely daughter can learn to manage  missing her dad.  I feel so badly for her.  I wonder what kind of conversation your son had with his dad when he was driving the car? Hugs to the both of them and to you, sweetie.

    Congratulations to your brother for working to overcome something so tough. That struggle will be with him forever now.  Good on him for realizing the truth and doing this for himself.  He was the only one who could change it and he was smart enough to figure that out. 

    Is that a chocolate cake? Hummmm???? I love chocolate cake.  Do you think he’d share a great big ol’ slice with me? 

  • I hope you can figure out what I wrote from all my typos…GRRRRRR…I’m OK… 

  • I bet that Father’s Day was extra hard for them. Its good that your open to talk with them about everything. I think your an awesome mom!

  • So sorry for your loss. Sounds like you are handling it well for the kids, giving them space and all that yet being available. Good Job MOM! Bob would be so proud I am sure! RYC: KK causing trouble!?!?! Nawwww! She’s a good girl-just don’t mess with her creativity or her kids! Then she will bite your butt! HAAHAHA! Let’s see if she reads this- then I will be in trouble! heehee. emlee

  • Good for your bro!  I hope he stays on the right track.

    I’m sure Father’s Day is a tough one at your house.  But gosh, the kids really sound like they are beginning to heal and that’s so cool.

    Your son and mine resemble each other.  I think they do anyway. 

  • RYC:  I just hate to protect all my posts ’cause I keep on meeting such wonderful people here.  I don’t want to shut out my chances of more friends….  :(    I’ll just make sure that I read what I write very carefully and protect it if it needs to be.  Thanks for your comments!!!

  • God If I lost my dad I don’t know what I’d do. I’m really sorry for you. congrats to your brother for pulling through! bye!

  • Ok so that one made me teary. I can’t even begin to imagine how your kids or you must feel with all that. I know that last week with my dad’s little amnesia thing I was freaked out enough!

  • It sounds like your children are doing well in the midst of what must be a very difficult situation.  You’re obviously doing something right.

    Congrats,  Happy Birthday and continued success to your brother. 

    Have a great week !!

  • Oh Shellie, your sweet babies!  How difficult it must still be for them.  My heart goes out to them!   :waaahh:  Your a sweet and wonderful mom who understands completely.  They are lucky they have you.

    As for your brother. . . Happy birthday to him!  I’m glad he’s turning his life around. . .it’s never too late, and at 27, believe me, he’s really ahead of the game.  My brother is 52 and still pissing his life away!  Love ya sweetie!~K.K.

  • Such a sweet post.  I hope next year finds your kids in a better and more joyful place.  The profile pic is great.  Such a happy doggie.

  • You, my friend, are an outstanding sister and incredible mother!  Sending you positive energy!

  • I think that is great that your brother got sober, I got sober 8 years ago and it has been hard with my fiance getting killed and everything.  I didn’t stay sober after he died, but I got right back on the wagon the next day because of how it made me feel.  So tell him to keep on going, it’s a tough road but it’s well worth the rewards in life. 

    Also, my father passed away 8 years ago, one of the reasons why I got sober and I still miss him.  So, it never goes away you just think about all of the good times you had.

  • I want that cake! I can’t imagine how hard it must be for all of you on Father’s Day. I called my stepmom and told her Happy Father’s Day! She laughed. I love it that I can talk to her about anything. You seem like a very open person, too. And I agree-a great writer!

  • I thought of your kids yesterday. I knew you’d do something special and that hug was special. You’re awesome! What a great mommy you are. Hope your daughter can come to terms with her daddy’s death. *HUGS*

    Congrats to your baby brother. So glad he’s on the right path.

    I think Xanga is at it again. I saw that you posted a comment but I can’t read it. Just like I see that you have 23 comments here but I don’t see a one. :waaahh:

  • It must be so tough on everyone but, at least, you have each other.
    Belated happy birthday to your bro

  • Ok. This morning they’re back. Good.

    So you go out there and have a wonderful day, you!

  • RYC: Who you calling nerf-herder? Er……. mushy?

  • Heh heh… doggie porn. Heh heh


  • I can only imagine how incredibly hard it is on your kids.
    KUDOS to the borther!!! Will pray he stays on the straight and naroow – he is such a cutie too!!!
    love ya!
    Debs
    Hope Bluesoid had a grand Father’s Day as well

  • Now I want some chocolate cake  yum.  Your post was very touching.  I did think about all of those people that don’t have fathers on fathers day.  I’m glad you all got thru it ok.

  • So, your brother has the same birthday as I do! That’s cool.

    RYC: Thanks for your birthday greetings. And, yes, gift certificates are the best because you don’t have to take back stuff you don’t want, plus you aren’t tempted to spend the money on something boring like bills. You have to spend it on yourself, which is the whole point!
    Had a few problems seeing comments last night, but now they are back.

    Lynn

  •  :clap:  Glad to hear about your brother.  Sounds like he is doing awesome. 

    Yes I am sure Fathers day is a bitter sweet day for all of you, it is good you have each other. 

    Hope you enjoy your Tuesday !!

  • I love you so much, Shellie.  No day is ever *easy* for your children but the big days like birthdays, Christmas, Father’s Day, wedding days, etc. are no doubt the hardest.  Your grace, love, and humor will help them find a way to get through each one of these days just a little bit easier.  I’m so thankful that your daughter has asked to read that book.  May she find it to be as helpful as you did.  I’ve got my fingers crossed for her as well and I keep all of you in my heart.  Always.    Jill

  •  :smack!: This is how my sons behave.  I hope your kids are better than mine!!!!

  • P.S. Happy belated birthday to your baby brother.  May this be the best year yet!  That cake looks yummy.

    ryc: I’d love to have you visit … you’ve described the perfect get-together.  Hey, we need a Xanga camp for all the cool kids.  Sounds like fun, huh? 

  • For all that you have lost, your family appears so close, so loving.  Such a blessing for what you do have.

  • Aww, your children. I haven’t looked forward to Father’s Day since my Daddy passed away either. It’s always just another day and as much as I don’t want to, I always resent those who still have a father because mine passed away so young. ;/

  • I work the information center at our church with a woman who lost two husbands – and she’s only in her 40′s.  Her children still suffer and her daughter had a very rough time on Father’s day.  I can’t even imagine, or pretend to understand what you all go through.  I will keep you in my prayers. xoxoxoxo

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