Nothing wrong with me here!  I'm just amazingly slow and lazy, kinda lost my oomph and drive to annoy you all in Xangaland.  I've been putting everything in protected, too many people that are related to me are reading my site, so I can't say what I think without my son feeling the need to be a complete shithead and go commenting around to folks who commented on my site about my in-laws and how much I dislike them.

Just imagine; standing beside your dead husband, still warm,  I can smell his lungs popping and hear them crackling as they empty out.  I'm in complete shock and dismay, I've vomited, had diahreah(sp), argued with the doctors about giving up too quickly, and the clearest thought as I stood over his body, "Well, at least I won't have to put up with my in-laws shit anymore....." how wrong was that!?  I've apologized to anyone I had the least inkling Bobby might have said something to.  And a few that said he didn't say anything to,  thanks so much for checking with me first.  Even though he could use a good blasting, I don't think he's where he needs to be mentally. I got him to shut his site down, thank God.  This is my journal,  I've journaled since 1976, and this comes in very handy,  I love to write, and I've made some friends I absolutely adore.  And if I want to write that I wish the old trouble makers would hurry up and die, well it's mine to write!!!  To my daughter, I said, "Do you remember, in the hospital, all the flowers and cards I got? Well the vast majority was from my friends on Xanga!" She knew. And you know when your purse was stolen, and dad's brass key-ring was lost?  Well, my sweetie Janice in San Jose sent me 3, one for each of us,which was so special and thoughtful. Did you know that was a Xanga friend?  She admitted that she knew it.  She said my talking about her drug problems, and other stunts and boyfriends also hurt her feelings.......so it's just better to do it protected, that way I'm not worried, if I blast someone (not that I ever would!)  And if you ask to be put on the list, you'd best make sure you're not  my parents, or my children.  Cause I'd rather close my site than hurt my family, and I just paid for lifetime. dammit.

Another week of chemo, and then I am, please God, done with cancer. 5 years of staying clean, gotta start looking for a job.... Rachel is doing great!  I had a big laugh when she called, in a panic, wanting to know how to get the dye off her forehead, as she had dyed her skin black, trying to dye her eyebrows black! hahaha!  So funny!  She got the dye off with toothpaste, ouch!

She's got a new job she seems to enjoy, hope she keeps it!  Hope she doesn't get fired the ways KRisty figured out to do!  LOL  Rachel is SO different from my daughter, not even close! Date a felon? Registered sex offender? Complete idiot? Gangster wannabe?  Get fired for smoking pot in the bathroom?  Not my Rachelita!

The dogs and cats are all great, had to put flea stuff on them.  Darn fleas, thats what I get for buying a house near an old gravel pit, of course, they're all beautiful ponds, full of wildlife, but the fleas.....eck.  I also remembered to vote.  Go me!