November 7, 2007
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Nothing wrong with me here! I’m just amazingly slow and lazy, kinda lost my oomph and drive to annoy you all in Xangaland. I’ve been putting everything in protected, too many people that are related to me are reading my site, so I can’t say what I think without my son feeling the need to be a complete shithead and go commenting around to folks who commented on my site about my in-laws and how much I dislike them.
Just imagine; standing beside your dead husband, still warm, I can smell his lungs popping and hear them crackling as they empty out. I’m in complete shock and dismay, I’ve vomited, had diahreah(sp), argued with the doctors about giving up too quickly, and the clearest thought as I stood over his body, “Well, at least I won’t have to put up with my in-laws shit anymore…..” how wrong was that!? I’ve apologized to anyone I had the least inkling Bobby might have said something to. And a few that said he didn’t say anything to, thanks so much for checking with me first. Even though he could use a good blasting, I don’t think he’s where he needs to be mentally. I got him to shut his site down, thank God. This is my journal, I’ve journaled since 1976, and this comes in very handy, I love to write, and I’ve made some friends I absolutely adore. And if I want to write that I wish the old trouble makers would hurry up and die, well it’s mine to write!!! To my daughter, I said, “Do you remember, in the hospital, all the flowers and cards I got? Well the vast majority was from my friends on Xanga!” She knew. And you know when your purse was stolen, and dad’s brass key-ring was lost? Well, my sweetie Janice in San Jose sent me 3, one for each of us,which was so special and thoughtful. Did you know that was a Xanga friend? She admitted that she knew it. She said my talking about her drug problems, and other stunts and boyfriends also hurt her feelings…….so it’s just better to do it protected, that way I’m not worried, if I blast someone (not that I ever would!)
And if you ask to be put on the list, you’d best make sure you’re not my parents, or my children. Cause I’d rather close my site than hurt my family, and I just paid for lifetime. dammit.
Another week of chemo, and then I am, please God, done with cancer. 5 years of staying clean, gotta start looking for a job…. Rachel is doing great! I had a big laugh when she called, in a panic, wanting to know how to get the dye off her forehead, as she had dyed her skin black, trying to dye her eyebrows black! hahaha! So funny! She got the dye off with toothpaste, ouch!
She’s got a new job she seems to enjoy, hope she keeps it! Hope she doesn’t get fired the ways KRisty figured out to do! LOL Rachel is SO different from my daughter, not even close! Date a felon? Registered sex offender? Complete idiot? Gangster wannabe? Get fired for smoking pot in the bathroom? Not my Rachelita!
The dogs and cats are all great, had to put flea stuff on them. Darn fleas, thats what I get for buying a house near an old gravel pit, of course, they’re all beautiful ponds, full of wildlife, but the fleas…..eck. I also remembered to vote. Go me!
Comments (29)
Well, hello there. Good to hear from you. I think that it is difficult for anyone outside of Xanga to understand that friendships that we have created here. Only one more week of chemo! Woohoo! Now that’s something to celebrate!
I can certainly understand your feelings toward your ex-in-laws. Believe me…I think you’ve been very, very nice about all their bs. The kids…well…I am not particularly thrilled with kids right now anyway. Frankie has proven lately to be a real disappointment…Frank has told him that if he continues doing what he’s been doing, he will turn him out.(He can go to his mother’s house. There he can learn all the tricks of the trade…vastly improve his lying skills, sneaking out of the house skills, how to cheat on a spouse skill [which will come in handy later on], how not to pay your bills, how to scream and bitch a people in public and how to get shit faced and have the cops called on you. Not to mention, he can bring his little girlfriend over and they can sleep together under his mom’s nose. That’s what Franchesca did.)
We have many roads to travel in our lifetime…and the lousy part is that some of us choose wonderful roads, but we have to get stuck dealing with the toxic fallout from others who choose bad roads to walk on.
Why can’t those people understand how they ruin happiness, prevent harmony in the home, hurt those who love them? I wish kids came with a Chemical Imbalance/ Genetic kit so that you could test them at birth and the make the corrections.
Personally, I’m looking for a nice secluded island for sale..it has to be extremely cheap..like maybe ten dollars…but I’m looking none the less.
I’m glad that you’re keeping your site here. In case you weren’t aware…you’re not allowed to close it. Ever. Unless you immediately open another one.
I too have come to love some people around Xangaland. Even if there is a stinky one among the bunch!
I am so happy to know that your treatments are almost finished. I have seen such a vast improvement in you since your surgery. You’ve got the stuff girl. I knew you did!!!
Job hunting again? Awesome!! I know you like having your own money to play with!!!
It’s nice to know that Rachel brings you joy. Isn’t it amazing how you can love another’s child as your own? The ability to love really does transcend everything else. I’m glad that she respects herself and you and Rick and makes intelligent choices. She deserves an extra special Christmas present.
Who’s blog is this today, yours or mine? I better shut up now before I take up all the comment space over here.
muwa!!!! stinky
Thank you for your comment. I know that it takes time. But it is hard, I guess mainly because I don’t want to get used to the idea that my Mom is gone.
I am glad you beat your cancer. I know it has been a long road for you.
Hooray for you! SO glad to hear you are doing well and are happy too!
Much love to you!
Namaste!
P.s. I was deliriously happy when both of my in-laws finally died as they caused us waay too much grief and sorrow.
One more week of chemo? Oh Shellie that is wonderful! I am crossing all of my crossables for you! In my first marriage my meddling MIL felt she was the glue that kept me with her son. What a shock to her when we separated and then divorced. He lives with her now to this day. (we divorced over 12 years ago, heh) Mike’s parents are both deceased so I never got to meet them when we met. I will admit that it’s nice not having to worry about inlaws. This is your site and you should be able to vent about everyone and everything, you are certainly entitled. It is wonderful you will be looking for a job soon….how awesome is that? Good to see that old fire back in your words again. I mean you never lost it but I sure feel it loud and clear today! Way to go Rachel!! Hugs and love to you Miss Shellie. You are so loved. xo
One more week! Thats great. You have come far. I guess its hard for your son not to feel caught in the middle with the inlaw thing. Hopefully he will understand its about your relationship with them.
BTW- Here is the link to that cheap savings site I talked about. I completley forgot to send it too you will I went there a few min ago. lol..
http://moneycentral.msn.com/community/message/thread.asp?board=smartspending&threadid=340108&boardname=Hide&header=SearchOnly&footer=Show&linktarget=_parent&pagestyle=money1
Glad to know you’re alive!
Yahoo on the last treatment!
Sooooooo glad your back. I’ve missed you. Who else can I vent about MP too. She’s right up there with her alcoholic boyfriend.
I learned a long time ago that when you don’t want people to know what you are up to you don’t do it!
There’s a lot to be said for living a refreshing, open book life. I hardly ever watch TV, but one night
a couple years ago I flipped on the TV, bored, and stumbled on the show “Desperate Housewives.” It
was a very moving episode for me. One woman was completely overwhelmed, and probably near suicidal, at
least a breakdown. She took off one day and no one knew where she was. Her friends found her sitting
alone in a park, and at first she was upset and embarrassed to be found. When the finally coaxed out
of her why she was so upset, they reassured her they all had times they felt as overwhelmed as she did.
She cried with relief, “Why didn’t you tell me!” She thought they never had her problems. I find
life’s ordinary and sometimes extraordinary stresses so much easier when I don’t try to pretend I have
the perfect life.
i’d like to be added to your protected list—i didn’t know your spouse had passed away,where the F have i been? i’m sorry but pls add me and i’ll do the same,jus realize,all kinds of crap on my protected,viewer discretion required,ggls,hugs,beauty–btw,this was a great blog post!
Shellie!! So good to hear from you!! I’ve been wondering where you went. Yayyy and double yay on the last of the chemo, that’s wonderful!
I hear ya on the family/xanga thing. I don’t want anybocy in my family reading my stuff either. This is for ME! My daughter started reading it, and I kinda had it out with her a long time ago about that. Finally decided that she could read it, BUT if I EVER hear anything about something I’ve wtitten, that’s IT.I mean she can talk to ME about it, but that’s it, no other mention to ANYbody. I even thought about starting another she didn’t know about, but then figured how to do the protected thing without her seeing it. Which is good because I love the ppl I talk to on here and don’t want to lose them. Another thing ppl who haven’t been here a while really get. (btw-I fersure ain’t your shitheaded inlaws, OR your kid, soooo…can I get on your protected list?) Ya know, cuz I worry if I don’t hear a Shellie-ism for weeks at a time!
Take Care my punkass friend!
Are you married?
We are ALL glad to read your words. I don’t understand people……seems to me if you are happier, your children will be happy and better people and thats what the in-laws should be striving for. Toxic people suck.
I’m glad you are back…and I completely understand the funk.
My gosh, you’ve been through a lot. I’m so sorry about your husband, and to have to be dealing with chemotherapy on top of that- wow. I wish you much strength and healing. Lisa
One more week….yay! whistle:
Hi! I’ve never commented here before, but I think the time has finally come. I know you are known as Number One Stinky, but I must make a case for that title to be surrendered to our mutual friend Itzaroos. Okay, she’s the best, but she had you here for a weekend visit and never introduced us! That is stinky! After I made your bed in her guest room and everything (without even spilling my wine in the process)… Sheesh. By the way, I think you’re amazing. Go you!
i hope you’ll put me on the list, altho i don’t get around much anymore…
You must be much improved, cause you’re sounding just like your old spunky self! You’re right…yea, you!
:dance:
So glad you are done with the chemo. Cheers.
hi
long time no see- dolce amara asked me to come and lend some support a long time ago. I’m really happy to see you’ve done so well.
hope your thanksgiving was thankful and giving.
much love anth0nyc (and anth0nyc2- its the anth0nyc lite version)
cya
Hello! Thanks so much for stopping by and commenting! It’s great to meet another person from around here too. *g* It’s a pleasure to meet you as well. *waves and waves*
I always read you…rarely comment..though I’ve been rooting for you.
Go protected, but don’t stop writing…you are an inspiration to many
did I tell you what I did at band camp last week?
my personal oppinion and observation is this (of course oppinions and observations are worthless). It is qite simple. You have been through so much it’s not worth the effort it takes you to even consider anything that disturbs your mood. I say you continue to post and advise those who detest or disagree with you or any of your comments/posts to firmly go pound sand. I prefer sand because although it goes in easily, when liquid is added it binds and sometimes can become as hard as cement. Sand is also preffered because if compressed hard enough, very can nice glass decorations can be created for their holidays.
Oh my gosh, I had no idea but I guess I wouldn’t because I haven’t been in touch w/you via Xanga. I am pleased to hear that you are in the clear. I look forward to catching up with you. I’m assuming that you are still in the Oregon area and that your children are doing well. Thanks for remembering me and dropping by. Let’s keep in touch. You’re such a neat lady.
Saw your comment on Maggie70‘s site and when you
mentioned Portland I had to check you out. I’m in Salem.
Sounds like you’ve been through a lot, but obviously this particular post is not protected.
I liked your “boring” post below. LOL That’s me!
I am glad your still doing good. Sorry about the Fleas I hate them, I use Froundline on all hte dogs nad Cats, I just cant stand the FLEAS lol.
Talk to you soon, Have a great day.